Disclosure

Recently, a colleague of mine decided to disclose her mental illness. Unlike me, she did so in an explosive and public fashion. I applaud the idea of disclosure in almost every context, and I understand intimately what a difficult decision and process it can be. However, her disclosure offends and deeply saddens me.

Which Like Two Spirits

In the past year, I've discovered two things that I think are passions in my life.

Just This

I thought long and hard about what to write about this, but there is very little that the video doesn't say. I wanted to quote a portion of it but I empathize and relate with almost every word. So don't read this. Read this.

Liar, Liar

Having bipolar disorder has made me a wonderful liar. There are so many little lies I tell every single day. What's that medicine? Oh, it's the end of a course of antibiotics. What doctor's appointment? This one's tricky - physical therapy is a great excuse. Why aren't you drinking tonight? Most recently, most poignantly: Why do you want to be a doctor?

$20 a Pill

Due to a variety of insurance adventures, I recently discovered that the cost of one of my mood stabilizing (and arguable life saving) medications without insurance is approximately $20/day. I'm not going to write a post about insurance companies or patent laws or Obama's health care plan because I don't think I have anything particularly new to say about them. I just want to say that $20/pill sucks.

Ironically, yet striking an all too familiar tone, the people who do have to pay these exorbitant prices are those who are especially unable to afford it. What if you don't have health insurance that covers name-brand drugs at an affordable price? What if you didn't realize you had a mental illness before a psychiatric emergency and don't have coverage at all? What if you're homeless, walked into an ER, and emerged with this prescription with no idea how to pay for it? What if you just made a bad decision about your insurance plan?

These are the what ifs that keep me up at night. They make me think about public health legislation and patent law. I don't have any answers and I don't even know if anyone is to blame here (I believe that free markets promote innovation and that we wouldn't have these drugs if someone couldn't charge $20 per pill, at least for awhile). I don't even know what the right questions are, but I hope people smarter than me are working on them because $20 a pill is too much. Especially when you depend on the pill keeps you alive, keeps you sane, and keeps you functional. Especially when you're already facing insurmountable challenges and this pill could help point you toward a halfway house, not prison, or a job, not poverty. Especially then.