Lately, I've had a lot of opportunities to build character. I actually feel my character getting taller, adding inches in the right places and toning her physique.
I build character when I set limits on the access that unsupportive people have to me. I build character when I emotionally disengage from people, however loving, who cause me stress and cause my symptoms to be exacerbated. I built character last night when I told my good friend that I had to go home and go to bed because I needed some down time. I build character when I run through my depression, through my mania, when I run like the act of putting one foot in front of the other is my new lifeline. Over the last few weeks, I've built character by getting up in the morning and going to work. I've built character by letting each hour follow the previous one, without disaster.
Two years ago, the last month would have put me into crisis mode. I've had a very intense and long lasting (for me) hypomanic period and then a crushing depression. There's a lot of change, and consequently stress, on the horizon, which makes my typically narrow bipolar tightrope shrink to thread-like proportions. But I survived. My psyche didn't disappear behind her symptoms, my body didn't get sick or shut down, and my mind remained focused and cognizant enough to complete the tasks needed to keep me moving forward. I kept moving forward, and now I feel, for the first time in a month, that a fog has cleared, that I am happy but not too happy, that I am tired but not too tired, that tomorrow will be a little bit easier than today. Two years ago, I fell apart, but today, I survived. I built character.
I'm currently reading "An Unquiet Mind," and it is having an unbelievable impact on me that I'm not yet prepared to discuss. I'd like to highlight one passage, though, that sums up my current sentiments, with that bit of humor I try to inject into these conversations: "[This was] character building, no doubt, but I was beginning to tire of all the opportunities to build character at the expense of peace, predictability, and a normal life". After a tough month of training, I think my character could use a taper.
I build character when I set limits on the access that unsupportive people have to me. I build character when I emotionally disengage from people, however loving, who cause me stress and cause my symptoms to be exacerbated. I built character last night when I told my good friend that I had to go home and go to bed because I needed some down time. I build character when I run through my depression, through my mania, when I run like the act of putting one foot in front of the other is my new lifeline. Over the last few weeks, I've built character by getting up in the morning and going to work. I've built character by letting each hour follow the previous one, without disaster.
Two years ago, the last month would have put me into crisis mode. I've had a very intense and long lasting (for me) hypomanic period and then a crushing depression. There's a lot of change, and consequently stress, on the horizon, which makes my typically narrow bipolar tightrope shrink to thread-like proportions. But I survived. My psyche didn't disappear behind her symptoms, my body didn't get sick or shut down, and my mind remained focused and cognizant enough to complete the tasks needed to keep me moving forward. I kept moving forward, and now I feel, for the first time in a month, that a fog has cleared, that I am happy but not too happy, that I am tired but not too tired, that tomorrow will be a little bit easier than today. Two years ago, I fell apart, but today, I survived. I built character.
I'm currently reading "An Unquiet Mind," and it is having an unbelievable impact on me that I'm not yet prepared to discuss. I'd like to highlight one passage, though, that sums up my current sentiments, with that bit of humor I try to inject into these conversations: "[This was] character building, no doubt, but I was beginning to tire of all the opportunities to build character at the expense of peace, predictability, and a normal life". After a tough month of training, I think my character could use a taper.
Dont have anything clever to say, just that you are amazing!!!!
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